Gail Vaz-Oxlade answers readers' questions and gets to the bottom of the issues. In today's column, Gail helps a reader who isn't sure if she should take on a second job.

Dear Gail:

My boyfriend supported me with minor financial items when I had a lower paying job than he did. Now he is in school and I have been supporting him with any groceries we get together and so on. He finishes school in April, but I don't think I can meet my financial goals in a timely manner unless I get a weekend job. I currently work Monday to Friday, 38 hours a week. I wouldn't mind working on weekends except I don't want to strain the relationship. I already feel like he and I don't see each other enough. I live on my own, but he still lives with his parents, so we already have minimal quality time together and that's why I look forward to weekends with him. I dislike my current employer and I want to leave, but I don't feel financially safe at the moment and I want to have a 3-month safety net when I start looking for a new job (by April I will feel financially comfortable to leave). I'd look for a new job now, but I am being paid as a licensed optician where I currently am because I have worked there for 3 years. If I look elsewhere I won't get paid near to that amount unless I am under a license which costs $1200 and I can't afford this at the moment. I can't sleep and I have gained so much weight, so I know my health is being compromised. In addition, I hate smoking, but find myself resorting to it now more than ever due to over-thinking everything. I can't figure out what to do. I feel like my boss dictates what I do and I feel stuck.
--L.

Dear L.:

It sounds like you feel trapped by your current job. Since you're making far more than you could elsewhere, you think you're stuck. Well, you may be. You first have to decide what's really important to you. Do you want to work somewhere else, and are you prepared to take the cut in pay? If you aren't then you're stuck.

But you better shift your attitude, girl, because right now you're just mired in misery. How can you light up a cigarette you "hate smoking" when you're considering taking another job to make more money? Can you not see how ridiculous that sounds? And if you're gaining weight and worried about your health then maybe a second job is a great idea: do it in the evenings, and try and ensure it has some physical aspect to it. As for spending quality time with your boyfriend, there are 2 days in a weekend. Give him one and put the other to work to get you to where you want to be next. If you make $80 a day, it'll take you 15 working days (fewer than 4 months working Saturdays or Sundays) to have enough for the license which will let you blow off the boss you seem to hate so much.

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